This site, though not an officially licensed arm of Scientology, is founded on identical principals, and operates in accordance with counter-suppressive person (c-sp) doctrine. Like OS (old world Scientology, also called AS or Archaic Scientology), we believe that any attempt to modify, alter, change or adulterate these works is tantamount to heresy, and will be prosecuted beyond the full extent of the law.

Sale of used books and other materials is strictly forbidden, despite any supposed laws to the contrary. Any attempts to self-audit will result in increased evil alien spirits infiltrating your body causing syndromes ranging from restless leg to irritable bowl. We can not be held responsible for the failures of misappropriated and unauthorized auditing.

Attempts to conduct auditing with non-approved E-Meter devices (such as a RIT Meter, bodyfat measuring bathroom scale or common electrical impedance measuring device, like the ones sold at Lowes for about ten bucks) will result in inaccurate outcomes, poor auditing, and maybe a little visit from some of our friends in the neighborhood if you catch my meaning, wink.

Talking about this site, its contents or anything real or implied within, even in passing around the water cooler, is strictly forbidden and will be prosecuted. Reading this site without purchasing products may also be punishable in civil court, as an extremely low-level denial-of-service attack (since it hinders our real customers), and we’re looking in to that now.

Referring to Scientologists as "clams" will be pursued as a hate crime, even though it’s our term we made up, and we use it. Just because we say it doesn’t mean that you can. It’s our word, so hands off.

If you have to read this disclaimer page, you’re either a real dumbass who’ll believe anything, or a Scientologist (in other words, a real dumbass who’ll believe anything.) In either case, since you’ve come this far, you might as well buy something from us. I mean, it’s not like you have anything better to do with your money like save for your retirement, donate to charity or burn it for warmth in the winter.